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One day, he is caring and loving and wonderful, and the next he is hateful and raging and mean. You are afraid to talk, or when you do talk you feel like you are never heard, your words are taken out of context, misunderstood, or blatantly ignored. In the beginning of a relationship they might seem like everything you ever wanted….usually this is because they are trying to act like everything you ever wanted. You have no support group and therefore your partner gains more power. He or she might be mean to people they think are “below them” or people who are defenseless, like babies or children. Like flipping a switch, he can change drastically from one extreme to the next. He or she acts one way when they are around you, but completely different around your parents, and completely different around their friends. Slowly, you lose your friends until you feel like your partner is the only person you have left. Your partner cycles from mean and vicious to sweet and loving, then back again. He might set traps for squirrels or rabbits and then torture them.Recently the subject of guys and breakups came up and Sabrina and I went back and forth about what guys generally go through when they breakup.It came down to be too much to put into the article I was writing, so we decided that I should throw it all into an installment of “Decoding Male Behavior.” To start, I wanted to write this article to dispel some of the misconceptions I’ve heard in regards to men and breakups. You might want to go to the movies–your partner will make sure you go out to dinner instead. He or she might even brag about the fact that they have left a trail of tears behind them. You might be terrified of what your partner will say or do if you tell them. He used to put you up on a pedestal…and now all he does is try to tear you down. From little things to big things, you feel like your partner never listens. They lie about things they don’t need to lie about. They can swear on their life that they are not lying. A healthy person is consistent in the way they treat people, regardless of their status. Your partner has a bad reputation or a tradition of “messy relationships”.

They will make you feel like you are the one that is going crazy instead of them. You might worry about what you wear and what you say and freak out if someone changes your plans or something unexpected happens that you will have to explain later. You’re not quite sure what will set them off, but you are afraid that something you do is going to make them lose their temper… You might think that the Bears are the best football team–your partner will convince you that you are stupid for thinking so because they suck. They might talk about cheating on an old partner, or be proud of their reputation.

During the second month of our relationship things started getting very odd…he seemed to be stuck in his past relationships with girls he had hooked up with , dated ,and old friends.

He constantly talked about things he did , as if he was reliving them each and everyday.

I always felt compared to each individual girl of his past. …he once told me that “the skulls were each individual ex girlfriend or bad female in his life and it was a way of getting over things “.

A sign …I red flag should of went up , but I naturally just laughed it off …and avoided the conversations of the ex’s at any cost.

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